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Experience is Everything and Nothing
Everything that has happened or will happen was meant to happen;
However nothing was meant to last forever, even if it was intended to.
So live life like you meant to do everything that you did do or intend to do.
And don't worry if you or anyone else doesn't understand why everything happened.
Just be thankful that you lived long enough to experience it all.
WordsWords float on a thin line
Some scurry through
My cloudy mind
Never to be caught only
Leaving their essence behind
Give me writings to where
People can sometimes find
What I mean

No matter what I do
I can never seem to convey
The emotion of my poem to
A person despite who they are
I even doubt you
Will get just what I mean
When I finish a poem I rue
Make the stupid poem

My own words
Are twisting and forming
Into a poem I didn't make
Sometimes I feel like crying
The frustration is so great
I keep writing
Otherwise I'll always
Be just scribbling
I Can't WriteI can't sleep.
Reality is a nightmare I can't escape.

I can't eat.
Food lost its flavor long ago.

I can't think.
Voices are too loud.

I can't breathe.
Air became toxic.

I can't live.
Life is no longer possible.
MessEverywhere I go
Every single place
The troubles seem to grow
Every smiling face
Eventually frowns with woe

Why can't I do
Anything right
I just screw
Up everything despite
The happiness I try to spew

Is it me
Am I the source of this ache
Does the pain flow free
Is this what I make
People be?

Should I go away and hide
Never to see others
Or the outside
But would I stop another's
Pain and be the only one that ever cried

What is a life with no grey
When everyone is sad
I'd give it all away
It wouldn't be that bad
I would finally be able to say

I saved a life
Between You and Me.
I never believed you,
I only wanted to.

.....

Lying back to back
I was counting your breaths
to make sure your lack of
heart
didn't leave you
dead.

....

Like a ghost
the fading memories of your touch
kept screaming
what I was trying to forget.

...

Oh, why did I give it up to you?

..

I know it's my fault.
My expectations were greater than
what you were willing to offer,
and I got scared.

I tried shutting you out,
to gather myself together
behind a shield of apathy,
but only ended up in
self-destruction.

.

Your kiss never tasted as
intoxicatingly bitter
as the last time
I made love to you...
ArtArt.

Imagine...

The world is your canvas.

Society is your paint brush.

The people are your choice of colours.

What kind of picture would you paint?

How would it differ from the image that is currently on show?

Would you go mad and rid yourself from all forms of restraint?

Just how far down the rabbit hole are you willing to go?

I ask because every portrait I create,

Is inspired by what is already in front of me.

So is it possible to even recreate,  

Anything that the mind is not able to see.

The picture will always be the same

Because this life is all we know.

Where there is compassion there must be pain

Because it us who made
ScarsStanding in the shower
Skin turning redder

I stay still and soak it in
This water won't erase my sins

Scars stand out bright white
Burns and cuts all in sight

The real scars cannot be seen
They reside inside of me

I wonder if all I will be
is a creature scarred eternally?
living and LivingThis year, I am going to live.

That is my resolution; to simply be alive. For that is something that I have never truly been before. Sure, I’ve been breathing and functioning and doing everything that one would class as ‘living’ but I’ve never been alive. Not really.

But then again, have you?

I know what you’re thinking. Of course you have been alive; you’re sat here reading this right now so therefore you must be living. But, if that is indeed what you are thinking, then you have misunderstood my resolution. When I say that this year I am going to ‘live’, what I mean is that I am going to ma
carnivore stainsYOU BECOME HUMAN WHEN YOUR CHEEKS
FLUSH AND YOUR GIGGLES ARE TRAILS
OF INNOCENCE ESCAPING THROUGH YOUR MOUTH.
before that you are a demon.
a purple bruise,
beating and wrinkled creature with eyes
cut into diamond ends that retract the light
placed on it in razor-sharp reflections.
you crawl forth into the world with an aching 
squeal that could even make the heavens
bow to their knees,
make your mother bleed
like the first day of Woman.
your nails, nine months grown to fit that
of a clover's lucky leaf, sharpen like nails in the floor-
board, and your mother is a prune in which
her womb is lined with your exit marks.
your nails sweetly trim her bottom-lips
so that you will be the last thing
to break her, the first to make her,
the one to kiss her for
forever.
Shooting the moonhe will have cause to regret
confession,
because
there will always be rivers,

the black sea
nebulous
with disease;

astronomer's insomnia
  (a sea-fire
constellation)
and midnight
necromancy
  (stargazing
the underside of bones...)
Mors AtraDust motes gathered in the corners of her lips
Bruised and rotting her mottled lungs fell apart
The skin of her wrists were smudged with pretty pink roses
And below her dissolving pupils just above the plains of her cheekbones
Were streaks of yellowed pages and posies
And ten days later she fell asleep under a bed of earth and soil
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December 29, 2012
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Shadowy Memories

:icongorilla-ink:

Shadowy Memories


My past is a shadow,
It goes wherever I go
And when I die,
My shadow will dance
In the light of the world no more.
:icongorilla-ink:
I've been very busy with my studies in college and
many other events within my life at the moment, so hopefully
I'll have more to share with you all in regards to what I have been writing.

Poetry mostly (the none rhyming kind) and some that does rhyme. I'm working on a few short stories too.
I have been researching philosophy as my journal has remained stating since September of this year (2012) and writing many philosophical thoughts, that I plan to share once they have retained a high polished shine.


I hope you like it.
Thank you for the views, faves, and comments.:heart:

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:iconemperorhadrian:
~EmperorHadrian Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Some of the best things are simple. That's what I love about this poem. It's short and to the point, and just magnificent. I like to read it over and over again and let it sink in. It's so elegant and wonderfully worded.
Reply
:icongorilla-ink:
*goRillA-iNK Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:faint:
I am deeply honored to receive such a wonderful compliment from such an incredible word-smith. :heart:
Reply
:iconemperorhadrian:
~EmperorHadrian Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
And I am honored you think me an incredible word-smith. =)
Reply
:iconkatie-venerelli:
~Katie-Venerelli Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is really good & I like this a lot. I realy like the perspective of this. The past will always be there no matter what you do & you worded that with extreme grace & Beauty. :) Amazing :clap:
Reply
:icongorilla-ink:
*goRillA-iNK Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug: Thank you! :heart:
:tighthug: Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconkatie-venerelli:
~Katie-Venerelli Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:D You're welcome,
Thanks for the power hugs :hug:
Reply
:iconmarabee:
~marabee Dec 29, 2012
nice poem, sad thought- is there really no escape from our past? i think not.. forgiveness and acceptance will light your spirit and you'll be able to fearless look straight in the face whatever dark secret holds a fearsome sword upon your peace.. rejecting it into one of the farthest recesses of your mind will only make it resurface, more painful, over and over again- like an air filled balloon that you're trying to drown in a lake.. my suggestion? take the needle and prick that sobbing past and you shall escape your shadow just like Peter Pan did :D
Reply
:icongorilla-ink:
*goRillA-iNK Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you kindly Marabee! :heart:
The past is inescapable, however I don't have any regrets at the present.
... Not many people can say this.
I really appreciate your words. :hug:
Reply
:iconmarabee:
~marabee Dec 31, 2012
You're welcome Tim! :floating:

I was trying to speak from my experience, a pretty harsh one for I was a kid when it all happened, but maybe it is easier to escape a past that you feel you had no real control over. For that matter even adults can be incapacitated at some point, therefore be kinder to yourself and try to forgive yourself- that was the hardest part for me in any case..

True, not many people say this, but then again my whole life I strayed from the herd ;)
You're welcome, I just had a streak of philosophy in my mind at that hour (not sure when and if I can repeat that ;) But I do recommend yoga for fixing your broken soul :floating:

Take care and success with your studies ! :)
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